TOTFIT's Total Fitness Page

I've really just about had it with my wife. She is going to have to choose between the dog and me. She has been leaving it in the house during the day and it shit, pissed and puked in the living room today while we were at work. I have just had it. Other than that has been a good day. Had a decent day at work and am looking forward to the weekend. Totsob/Totfit is the only way for me to live. I am going to start my workout push tomorrow. I am used to work enough to start once again building Aerobically. Dog shit or not I will have a nice weekend.

Wow, has been a couple of days since I have written. Thinks are cooking along fitly and soberly and that is my committment for today. Kim's Dad and Martha were in yesterday for supper and we had a nice visit. I think things went off well. Kim is going to have to get over her bossiness around guests: telling me things that need to be done or she will be doing them herself. Maybe I am a little too sensitive and can't see myself doing the same things with her. Rad was his entertaining self. I am not sure what to do for my Dad's birthday. Kim said something about all of us going to Chicago for a ballgame. I thing that would be fun. Or we could go up when they play the Reds. Have had some fleeting drinking thoughts. How ridiculous would that be. I just can't believe that is even something that I would consider. It is really amazing how the mind works or doesn't work as far as addiction goes. Well, enough for now.

Well, going to be a beautiful sober day once again. I am working in a couple of different places today. I guess the moving around isn't too bad. Wish I knew where I was going every day though. Having some really wierd dreams lately, but can't remember them. I know this: I am so much more relaxed than when I was teaching. It doesn't seem as if I live in a crisis of some sort or the other all the time. Teaching would be ok without meetings and extra paperwork all the time. Camping this weekend at Montgomery Bell is the plan if it doesn't rain. One way or the other we will enjoy the weekend. I am due some meetings also, so if nothing else I will get one in somewhere. Absolutely no desire to damage my body in any way. I ate fairly well yesterday and will continue the trend. Though I am looking to drop a few pounds, I am still making sure I have plenty of work fuel. My biking plans of yesterday changed because I had to pick up Radnor. I will do something aerobic today!

Start of another sober workweek. I am glad to be working outside. It looks like it is going to be a beautiful week. I miss teaching sometimes, but I am certainly glad not to have any headaches. Well, a good week of work and hopefully a nice weekend camping. Well, better get ready for work. I think I am ok right now as far as my sobriety goes. I just hope that I can stay the course. It has been a month now. I am going to shoot for years/ live. Need to loose about 10 lbs. That is my goal for now.

Well, its Sunday and hope it will be a sober funday! Just got out of the pool with Rad, Amanda, and Justin. I guess we had better get ready to start moving. Think we all had a fairly good time. There is some tension between myself and kim. She has begun to get a little bossy and I won't stand for that. I love her, but her clumsiness with things, especially intimacy, wears real thin at times. Above all remember that a sober and fit mind, body, and spirit is most able to make the right choices and move forward. I intend to start with more aerobics in the coming month. I'll save some money and see where we go from there.

My Yahoo! Oh wow, we just came back to rome from birmingham today. Watched the usa women beat brazil 5-1. I am totally sober and loving life at the moment. Total fitness will continue to take on new dimensions and I will continue to seek to further my fitness and be the best person I can be. Well, I will just keep on keeping on. We have Amanda AND Justin in the motel room tonight and am not sure what I am going to do with everyone. Well time to spend some time with the kids.

Results I forgot how this works. Let's see. Bandwidth Place is something good to spread. I really like this service. Well, I had better get ready to get to Georgia.

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Wow, I am moving slowly this morning, but I will most certainly be moving through this day sober. It is amazing the lies that substances can whisper to a substance abuser, but I will not buy them for today. I was amazed to have worked yesterday. Don't know if I will be so lucky today. I'll just give it a try. I am really looking forward to the weekend with Amanda. I can't wait to see our Women's National Team play Brazil. Should be a great game and a great time. I want to do some type of aerobic workout today. Maybe I will do the elliptical trainer instead of run. Or I could go for a swim. Well, I must get ready for work.

Wow, it is Thursday and I haven't written in two days. Got a bonus day today at work. I was sure it was going to rain us out, but no, we worked the full day. I could sure use a full week. We have really been spending the money lately. Again, sobriety and total fitness are my priorities, without which I have nothing. I feel as if I am doing well right now. I haven't kept up my running profile, but by the first of June I will be back to at least 3-4 aerobic days a week. The work I am doing right now is a grand workout in its own right. Really looking forward to getting Amanda this weekend and heading to the US Women vs. Brazil soccer match. I am psyched. Things are still going fairly smooth. I am a little tired from work today, but I am ok. I am for some reason having or worrying about financial things when I think or feel that they really are. Guess I had better head for the shower, then start thinking about supper.

Can't say that I will never drink again, but I sure can't think of one good reason or even a bad reason now. Frankly, drinking is just not an option any more. Today, was a pretty good day at work. I am getting ready to go and pick up the Rad man. Pork roast is in the crock pot. Maybe I'll fix mashed potatoes and something else with it. I feel really good right now. Looking forward to visiting Amanda this weekend and watching US vs Brazil women's soccer.

First and foremost, sobriety is my priority for the day and life. Went to church yesterday. This was the first time in so long. Really enjoyed the service. Being a Unitarian certainly has advantages. I can support the social justice and environmental causes I believe in and spiritually believe how I feel on a day to day basis, instead of how I am told to believe. Went to a Vandy baseball game afterwards and watched them beat Arkasas 14-8. They only won 1of 3 for the series, but I saw the winning game. I am a little perturbed at Kim. She is planning a night out with JoAnn and leaving rad and I out of it. If things keep going as they are I certainly won't drink over it, but I also don't feel really faithful or as we are growing as a couple. I just don't know. Her priorities are not in line with mine. I sense that I am going to do a lot more of my own thing. Where that leaves us, I do not know. Maybe she will take a little more notice when I am not hanging around as much. ...

Today, TOTFIT bike ride: Two County Metric Century. Well, we are getting ready to go on a bike ride sponsored by the Murfreesboro bike club. I can't wait. The wind is calm and we are ready to go. Thank you great spirit. Let's do it. TOTSOB is my priority for today.

Wow, I have got to get moving towards work. Well, TOTFIT is the plan for a sober day. Tomorrow a bike ride. Thirty one miles as part of the Two County Century in Murfreesboro. Let's rock on. Well, I had better get going. Eight hours and the weekend. All right!

What a great sober, totfit, day today. Went about sixty miles out of town today to work. Acutally had a leisurely day working. I was still ill at Ronda for her trying to change the plan on my going to Orlanda with Amanda. Now she is trying to get her mother to go also. If she does the it will be instead of, not also. I just get sick of her trying to control and manipulate all the time. Oh well. I'm not doing the best as far as my eating is going. I must starting tomorrow slow down.

Another wet, but sober day in Tennessee. Drove 60 miles to work this morning only to hang out for an hour and return home. Went to Wal-Mart and bought an Anniversary gift for my wife. (OK so a microwave is not romantic, but appliances are listed as the four year thing) I went to an AA meeting, straightened the house and took a nap. Spent a good part of the day contemplating and reading about living tools. I feel pretty firm in my TOTFIT frame of mind and right now don't feel the need to be perfect except in not taking a drink. All or nothing thinking is one of the things that has gotten me in serious trouble in the past so that is definately something I need to leave alone. I am fairly comfortable with life at the moment, but still feel a little lost. What is my purpose? blah, blah, blah. Really, I think one should just LIVE and live well. When I say well, I don't mean materialistically, but instead experiencailly. New motto: "Life, experience it". Well, enough for no...

Well, wound out a good day after picking Radnor up and going for Chineese. He seems to think this is the routine every time I pick him up from school. Oh well, I guess it is the routine. I went to see Passion this afternoon. I thought the movie was fairly powerful, though a little gory. I must remember that sobriety comes first and with that anything is possible. Without it only misery is possible. A little tired from my workout. The first real workout I have had other than work in three weeks. Tired, but I feel good also. I ate horrible late this afternoon, but tomorrow is another day. Too much junk. Enough for now. Later

Wow, looks as if i need to change my settings. I dont think this is going to work with Opera. Hmm, lets see if this works anyway. I can only see a line at a time as I write. Well, I guess I'll just go in and change the settings back to where they were.

Well, rained out of work and here once again. Stopped at the gym and had a great totfit workout. Nice sober thing to do. I did three miles on the treadmill, though didn't run as fast as normal. Took a nap and did a Lifering chat, my first. It is a terribly soggy day, so there will be little outside activity. Guess I'll pick up the Radster early and go to the mall. My anniversary is day after tomorrow, so I need to pick a little something up. Well, I know I am on the right track for the moment, just not sure how to stay there. The fear is that I will not see a future lapse coming, but I must remember that I typically have all the signs, so just not by the bullshit in my head. Physically I really feel great. I think I will be ok as far as my knees go doing construction. Tommorow to Lewisburg. I'll go tomorrow no matter what the weather. Well, time to go for now.

Here again on a cloudy Easter morning. My son has already awaken to see the treats from the "Easter Bunny". TOTFIT is my frame of mind for the day, but I probably will not eat the best foods today. I will allow myself a little leeway for a family hamburger feast. Spiritually, I am thinking a little of the Christian meaning for Easter and celebrate the thought of sacrifice for others and look for peace on the planet. I didn't run yesterday as I had intended. I instead spent some of the day shopping with my wife, but most just relaxing. It has been a big transition to construction from teaching over the past couple of weeks, but I am fortunately making the transition better than expected. I will start to look for ways I can include at least three running days into my week. While teaching may have been a noble profession, it certainly wasn't for me. I now have the quality time and right frame of mind to do other things.

Well, just back from a movie with Rad and mom. The disney movie Home on the Range was short and sweet. It was just long enough and not too long for either the toddler or his dad. I overate popcorn, but I'll make it up somehow. Missed an AA meeting this morning. I went and got milk for Rad instead. Oh well, think I'll stay sober today anyway.

Looks as if it is going to be a TOTFIT rainy Saturday. I'll begin the day with a meeting at 9:30, then a trip to the gym. Other than that I am not sure what the day holds, no real plans. After two weeks back in the carpenter business, I see no reason not to be able to keep it going. I have no immediate plans to do anything else. Everyone is sleeping in this morning. It is really amazing especially for Radnor. I am sitting here having a quiet cup of coffee and just grateful for all that is in my life at this moment. I will stay the course and hopefully contribute to the stability and peace of the family and community. It is unsettling some of the things that are going on in the world, but there is little I can do other than stick to and voice my opinions on issues. I will once again get involved in the Sierra Club and church and contribute my small part. I will also of course VOTE! There seems to be few surprises on the horizon at the moment and actually for that I am grateful.

Another day in paradise. Again today sobriety and total fitness are at the forefront of my plans for the day. I am happy to report all is well. I am going to begin slowly cutting my calorie intake in an effort to lose about 10 lbs. I just feel better at a lower weight and will slowly lose. Looking forward to this Easter weekend with family. My family is coming here for the day and we will see how Radnor enjoys the "Easter Bunny". I am so much more relaxed now that I have resigned teaching and am working with form erectors again. The work is physically challenging, but when I am done I am done. I don't have things rolling around in my head all the time. The hourly rate isn't bad and I would rather have that than what I did teaching. I plan on a 9:30 meeting in the morning and will just for the most part work around the house tomorrow. Anniversary is coming up, so I have to make plans for that. Time to get ready for work.

Another day in paradise. Again today sobriety and total fitness are at the forefront of my plans for the day. I am happy to report all is well. I am going to begin slowly cutting my calorie intake in an effort to lose about 10 lbs. I just feel better at a lower weight and will slowly lose. Looking forward to this Easter weekend with family. My family is coming here for the day and we will see how Radnor enjoys the "Easter Bunny". I am so much more relaxed now that I have resigned teaching and am working with form erectors again. The work is physically challenging, but when I am done I am done. I don't have things rolling around in my head all the time. The hourly rate isn't bad and I would rather have that than what I did teaching. I plan on a 9:30 meeting in the morning and will just for the most part work around the house tomorrow. Anniversary is coming up, so I have to make plans for that. Time to get ready for work.

Well, a beautiful Wednesday morning and I am getting ready to drive several miles to work. First and foremost no drinking for me today. Had a great dinner with rad after work yesterday when I picked him up from school. He had a ball with the waitresses at the Chineese resturaunt. Well, better get going for now. Tomorrow or today I will definately run. Got to drop 6 pounds. JUST DO IT !

Getting ready to embark on another sober day. Finally a full week smober and sober. I detest the fact that I ever smoked the first cigarette. Had a decent day at work yesterday, not real trying, so I came home cut the grass, ran the weedeater, and straightened the house. I am going to pick up rad today after work and we are going to the play ground. I guess I will save my run day for Wednesday. I feel pretty good right now about sobriety and life. I am not totally sure about my homelife, but things will be ok I am sure. We are moving around at work right now, but hopefully we will be working around town. There are a couple of big jobs coming up in Nashville and I would like to be a part of them. We'll see what happens. The primary thing right now is totfit. I must make a spiritual connection today. Just live in the moment. GS give me strength as I go through the day.

I will stay sober today! That said it is time to think about how I will approach my day. I will do the things I need to do at work faithfully and try and approach all with a positive attitude. I will try and get home today and get a little yard work done. Tomorrow is my running day. I am "recoverying" right now from a great day with family yesterday at a Vanderbilt baseball game. Live is good!

Had a great 26 mile bike ride (hilly) yesterday. We took the tandem and pulled our young son in a trailer. I really enjoyed the ride though a couple of the hills were really tough, especially before I adjusted the gears so that it would drop down to the "granny" gear. Went to Franklin, TN and had lunch. Went to an AA meeting yesterday and got a little upset for a bit thinking that I may see myself falling into an old trap or jumping right back up on my feet again. Well, I am committed to staying sober and enriching myself physically, mentally, and spiritiually. Sobriety is the natuaral course for me, not an unnatural one. I just physically was not meant to drink alcohol. Today, I am going to church for the first time in some time and then we are going to a baseball game, Vandy vs South Carolina. Radnor (my son) should really enjoy the game.

Well, here I am, just not sure whom I is. Certainly a real comment as to my feelings at the moment. TOTFITis certainly a way to look at how we want to take care of ourselves as human beings. I am not sorry for what I have done, I just really don't want to do it anymore. I am currently a 7 on the TOTFIT scale or at least that is how I would rate myself. Thinking about and will probably go to an AA meeting in a bit and just explore. I feel drawn to the meeting, so it should be one for me. The spirit is moving me, so it is time to move.

A new day is dawned and once again I re-establish my sobriety priority. That is first and foremost. Woke up this morning at a little after 3:00 AM. I don't know why I couldn't sleep, but alas here I am. Today I'll take a tandem bike ride with my wife pulling our toddler son. He has been in the trailer his whole life so knows little difference and loves it. The weather will be in the low sixties, so should be nice. I am feeling "bigger" after my week of construction work and am happier. I was a little pissed at the wife after she arrived home a little late yesterday from work after telling me she would be home early and I was preparing dinner. She had to stop for a drink after work and it burns me up considering my deal. She also had to have a giant beer at dinner Thursday night after us talking about her drinking in front of me. Oh well! Well, hopefully it will be a nice day and a nice ride.

Well, back for an afternoon message. I worked 32.5 hours this week and I really think I am going to like doing this work much better. I have nothing on my mind and have to worry about nothing for work Monday other than showing up. It may be selfish, but I didn't realize how miserable I was teaching until looking back on some other things I had written here and also looking out how different I feel right now. I will continue to write here every day. TOTFIT is the only way and sobriety is the key part of it for me. Without that I have nothing but misery each and every time I drink.

Well, I haven't written in a while. I have just recently resigned my teaching position and had an almost one week drinking lapse. I am back on track at the moment and happy for it. I have gone back into concrete construction and feel so much better about things it is unbelievable. I will daily here talk about my committment to sobriety and total fitness. My mind is so much clearer now and I am able to feel spiritually where as before I seemed so clouded. I feel my chances running out in the lapsing thing and wish for permanent sobriety. I will continue to put one foot in front of the other and keep faith that being sober is the only life for me.